THE INFORMATION SUPERHIGHWAY: My Story Introduction In May, 1994, as a result of the community network Ties That Bind Conference, a call went out to create a collection of stories that focus on the ways in which the Internet has had an impact on the lives of people who use it. I asked others to write up and submit their own stories. I worked on the history of MADNESS, and I realized that I ought to tell my own particular story to explain my attachment to electronic Internet mail. My story surveys the grounds for my satisfaction in this traditionally male, young, sometimes cutthroat, retaliatory surroundings, and explores why I am at home there even though I am a grandmother, inclusive and conciliatory. And "The Information Superhighway: My Story" relates the special ways that electronic networking is particularly important to me as a person with a psychiatric diagnosis, a person with a silenced voice, a mad woman. A Personal View Fundamental to owning a psychiatric diagnosis is the experience of exclusion. On the Internet, I do not have to wear my anti-exclusion armor. The essential me may subscribe, unsubscribe and post messages. I am challenged when I use the Internet, stretched, and enjoying that. I am learning a new set of nuances, a new way to know what another means, a new way to be available and responsive. I receive enough feedback-that-I-believe to demonstrate to myself that I am good at what I am doing. That corroboration sustains and energizes me. Politics and the User Movement In recent years, the political movement of people who use or have used mental health services has had no dependable national information source, no newsletter, no organization, no resource directory, no way to grow as a movement, and -- what I found most exasperating -- little opportunity for newcomers. Command and connections remained with the networked old timers. I was new to the scene and I had something to say. I had an experience and a point of view. I was both frustrated and determined. I wanted in. Those who had been part of the movement for longer than I, explained away the lack of network: "no money," "no funding," "we are all volunteers." I knew how to make a beginning with only a little money and I had ideas for leveraging the Internet costs. My own goal was to create a process for widely sharing information and knowledge. I wanted a tool so that any user would have access to all information. Once the access and the tool were available, various smaller groups could work on different action plans. I established a forum for People Who. (People Who is short for "people who experience mood swings, fear, voices and visions." People Who was also the name of the hand managed list that preceded ThisIsCrazy. People Who existed from January 27 to April 16, 1994. The first message went to 17 subscribers, the last to 56. To conform to a new computer host, ThisIsCrazy changed its name to MADNESS, and moved on November 3, 1944; the last ThisIsCrazy message went to 108 subscribers. On November 20, MADNESS had 129 subscribers from 12 countries and they were each receiving, on average, 25 messages a day. In the first 18 days, half the subscribers had posted at least one message and a quarter of the subscribers had posted an average of 10 messages each.) In the past, as a social action movement, we have been reactive to the models we knew, which were authoritarian and paternalistic. As a result, we became anarchic or compliant. In contrast, the Internet is a milieu barren of models, and that lack propels empowerment without much personal or systemic resistance. More than anything, the Internet represents involvement -- involvement on a human, anecdotal scale. Electronic Mail's Value To Me The Practical Effects Effective Compelling effective use of my self, my time. I'm good at this. Audience Reaches a population sufficiently large to meet interests too specialized for face-to-face affinity groups. Content Electronic contacts have more clarity, are less fuzzy, are shorter. Time Less overall time than voice, snail mail, or fax. Faster potential turnaround than for snail mail or fax. Turnaround for voice mail depends on whether desired person was reached, or human or recording device took a message. Cost Reduces long distance charges for voice calls. Reduces snail mail postage costs. Reduces cost of supplies -- envelopes, paper, postcards, labels, staples, duplicating, and laser cartridges. The E Mail Process Mental A mostly mental, very sedentary activity. Accurate Reduces risk of misinterpretation. Repeating relevant portions of the electronic message (quoting) creates feedback and accuracy of understanding. Concise. (I know how to write a one screen message -- maybe 125 words.) Simplified Reduces the levels of communication to deal with. Specifically, the e mail dialogue is not subject to the same restrictions, intimidations or interpretations present in speech. It reduces the nonverbals -- such as pauses, tone and intonations. The stroking and grooming of social exchange are minimal. The impact of social station and work rank are not significant factors. Not using the more formal language of journals and abstracts eliminates the possibility of a natural barrier being set up between reader and writer. Also eliminated are the status cues of stationery and the more formal written language (sometimes generated by levels of preview and review of print). State Lessens sensory overload. The entire range of sensory input is reduced. Auditory stimulation is absent. There is no kinesthetic which requires involvement and that are no visuals to be concerned with other than the words. Like paper (as compared to oral), the level of input is reduced. Since I am extremely aware and often experience sensory overload, this reduction is very functional, calming. I may participate often without being greedy; I may observe without feeling uncooperative. Requires less of me; can use even when I am low, tired, or otherwise ill at ease with myself. I'm present, focussed, not distracted. I'm less sealed off, more involved not in a virtuality, but in, for me, an expanded reality. There is an intensity and an intimacy. Challenge Because I am mainly focused on the content, my thinking is challenged more than in oral communication. Focus More focus, less foreplay. Courtesy is present and abbreviated. Dialogue is more content oriented; I am a thinker and the content is why I am communicating. Rules Has the informality of speech and the focus of writing. I may respond without invitation and without regard to "appropriateness" of my relationship to the author, without deference or humility, merely with content. I control the pace of my participation; I may reply spontaneously or thoughtfully. Makes possible a balanced exchange in which both sides have an equal opportunity to participate. Eliminates the possibility that one will override or interrupt the other. I don't feel overwhelmed, or as if I have less of a chance. Level fields The real action is not behind the scenes; the real action is fully public. Hidden agendas do not flourish. Valuing I am measured by the content and style of my post, not my age, presence, education, bond weight of my stationery, pearls, ... . I feel my good mind is valued; I feel I am valued. Someone listens; usually someone replies; I am heard. When I'm heard, I feel appreciated; I feel worthy; I feel understood; I feel respected; I feel affirmed. Multiplicity I am able to respond from curiosity, from pragmatism, from philosophy -- to one place, with one post. I like labeling myself a cyberjock. Manageable Many of the e mail and Internet obstacles are obstacles of software; that's easier for me to challenge and adjust to than obstacles of personality. Democratic Instantaneous transmission of same to many; flattens the information pyramid. Tailored Customized. Action is in real time, is evolving, protean. Reduced risk There's no risk to access; there's no risk to being an observer (lurking). There's minimal risk to post. I may or may not read another's post; no one has to read my posts. Constant The resource, my community is continually available. Congruent I know how to hear what another is writing, and to post responsively. Humbling Mistakes are irreversible and seen by all. E Mail and Madness Safety net I can tailor access to the best hours for me. I can find support when I need it, even early morning hours, without triggering crisis responses, and without feeling judged for my rhythms. The Internet is continually available, 24 hours, 7 days, even Christmas and Thanksgiving and Super Bowl Sunday. I can depend on access and input. This risk of not being able to access is only the risk of my own computer going down, my provider going down, there being no electricity, or worst of all, there being no messages in my groups. Thus, I am minimally exposed, have minimum vulnerability, need to put less attention towards maintaining defensible personal boundaries. And I am involved in a safe way; if coercion is threatened, I can marshall 200 People Who in 200 seconds. Support Broadens knowledge base of People Who about their label and its connection to other labels -- allergies, learning disabilities, chemical sensitivities, other oppressed groups, other people with disabilities. Sociability I was surprised that electronic involvement has led me to more face-to-face involvement. I feel my assurance enhanced by my dependable accessible community. Lobbying Timely, effective, inexpensive. Direction Depression cast me away from the middle class matron script that I'd learned when very young. E mail has corrected that uncharted drift. Conclusion Commonality E mail reduces my negative exceptionality. I find commonality and because of support, I reduce the burden of uniqueness. Space is created for my positive exceptionality. Through e mail, I speak in a firm clear voice.  This file came from anonymous ftp sjuvm.stjohns.edu cd MADNESS The MADNESS ftp site is a service of MADNESS, an online discussion on LISTSERV@sjuvm.stjohns.edu Please credit the list if you copy this file.